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Wysłany: Śro 4:06, 06 Kwi 2011
Temat postu: True Religion Skinny For Womens Best Things to Say
“Can I sit with a while? It’s okay if we don’t talk.”
Making small talk or taking care of you socially is often an impossible task to a depressed or hopeless person. Even though they are feeling lonely and isolated, they choose to be alone because the thought of keeping someone else entertained requires too much energy. Offer to be with a person and suggest sitting together outdoors, watching television, or reading together. Reassure them in advance that you have no expectations of being entertained. Don’t feel the need to fill up the silence. What is often healing or helpful is your willingness to sit comfortably, even in silence, without expectation.
“You are important to me even when you are feeling down.”
People who are feeling hopeless often think they are weak for feeling this way. They may believe they have a character flaw. Reassure your friend or loved one that you can understand why they might be thinking these types of thoughts, but in your eyes it isn’t true. Offer comfort as you speak from your heart and tell them that you know for a fact that depression or hopelessness isn’t caused by personal weakness, laziness, or because they have bad karma. This statement of compassionate truth validates their experience while also offering them another point of view. Their experience is a legitimate human experience.
“I may not understand what you experiencing, but I do know that there is always meaning in suffering.”
Without trivializing their experience, you can offer a model of acceptance that may help the person begin to accept their experience. Accepting one’s suffering is often a first step to claiming it, becoming familiar with it, and potentially moving beyond it. Don’t claim that you know the meaning of their pain. Let them know that you wish they weren’t hurting, and yet you have faith that this depression is valid and meaningful.
Some helpful hints are to listen while making the person feel un-threatened. Show them with words and actions that they can trust you. Let them know that you are available. Use your positive energy and retain inner hope that change can occur. Just because they don=t believe they can get through this doesn’t mean that you have to agree with their point of view.
“Would you go outside with me for a short walk?”
The hurt inside and the struggle just to get through the day makes many hopeless or depressed people want to isolate inside the safety of their home or bed. Offer to take the person outside. They will most likely resist your offer. Don’t be pushy,
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, but if at all possible be persistent. Fresh air and a change of scenery can help them breathe, can give them access to the healing power of nature, and can get them through at least part of the day.
If you have a friend or loved one who is experiencing hopelessness or depression, it can be difficult to know exactly what to say or do. While there isn’t any one magic thing to say that will alleviate their pain, there are many ways to offer support.
Here are some words to say that will show your support, while also allowing the person to feel what they are feeling.
The best way to offer help is to listen, validate their experience, and provide acceptance. By offering this type of support, you can help put things into a more balanced perspective. In addition,
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, your offer of companionship lets them know that they are not completely alone. They have someone with them even as they attempt to find their ways the a very difficult and dark period.
“I’ve noticed lately that you have been down. Do you want to share your feelings with me? I’d like to listen.”
Listening with compassion to a person sharing dark or despairing feelings can be difficult for most people to handle. It’s a normal tendency to want to talk, give advice,
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, or offer solutions. However, your ability to listen is immensely healing. When you give someone the freedom and safety speak, they are able to hear their own thoughts C often
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